Not A Secret
by Hisa-Ai
Summary: It wasn't actually supposed to be a secret, really. But somehow, without them really deciding on anything or wanting to, it became something they danced around anyway, fingers loosening, kisses ceasing, as soon as anyone else came into the room or down the hall towards them. And Arthur hated it.


_Not A Secret_

* * *

*.*.*.*.*

It wasn't actually _supposed_ to be a _secret_ , really. Arthur wasn't embarrassed to be with Merlin, and Merlin wasn't embarrassed to be with Arthur, there was no shame or regret or anything like that, they just… well, never thought they needed to make an announcement or anything of the sort to the entire kingdom. Granted, if they were ever to be wed, they probably would, but, for now, they were just happy to be together and in love, and it wasn't _that_ big of a deal, they thought.

But somehow, without them really deciding on anything or wanting to, it became something they danced around anyway, fingers loosening, kisses ceasing, as soon as anyone else came into the room or down the hall towards them. It was completely ridiculous, the way they jumped apart, smoothing out their hair and clothes and acting as though they _hadn't_ just been doing whatever they'd just been doing—passing kisses and whispers of wants and heart's desires _via_ kisses and the careful pressing or tangling of fingers, or whathaveyou.

It was _especially_ ridiculous the way Arthur had to restrain himself when they were out in public. _Really_ , it was. That he couldn't take Merlin's hand or escort him through the market or kiss him hello or goodbye when they met up or parted ways if there happened to be someone about, that he couldn't say 'I love you' or touch or talk about _romances_ or anything of the such was just... so fucking _ridiculous_.

But, Arthur told himself one such day when Leon turned down the hall he and Merlin had been walking down, their hands falling apart, a cold wind striking Arthur's heart at the loss of Merlin's wondrous fingers in his own, it was his own fault. No one told him he couldn't do any of those things or that he _had_ to restrain himself around others. Merlin had never expressed such wishes, and Arthur had never said they should do any of that either—God, Arthur had _definitely_ never said they should do anything like **_that_**.

Though he would admit, at first, it had been exciting, tucking themselves away in corners and darkened halls and empty rooms, hearts racing with the excitement of being caught in a secret that wasn't actually meant to be a secret—and actually, it was _still_ exciting, doing that. Though they'd been doing it for years now, it never ceased to be exciting, if... _tiring_. As much as Arthur enjoyed getting lost in a secret that wasn't meant to be a secret, he hated it too, found it frustrating, found it even _more_ frustrating that the two feelings were at war in side his head and body, that he could never _quite_ decide how he felt about this secret that wasn't supposed to be a secret.

So rather than deal with it, rather than talk it out with Merlin, talk out the frustrations and the excitement, he took to, well, cornering Merlin all the more often, even less secretive in this secret that wasn't actually meant to be a secret than he'd been before. The halls he backed Merlin against walls in started becoming better lit, the rooms he stole him away into became more likely to have the door swing open any moment now, known for their frequent visitors by knights or servants. His touches were braver, more bold, kisses more lingering and rough and more likely to turn into something else that couldn't be covered up or broken away from too easily.

Arthur's solution wasn't any sort of solution at all, really, and _God_ were they both fine with that. Or at least, _Arthur_ certainly was, and he didn't exactly hear _Mer_ lin complaining either...

Arthur was _much_ more than fine with it when Merlin himself shoved Arthur into a closet one afternoon after a morning of Arthur sending him much too suggestive and flirtatious looks over meetings and during training. God, there were knights and servants _everywhere_ that afternoon in preparation of an important banquet, and one of them was _bound_ to need something out of this room sooner or later. That was far too exciting a thought but, well, even _it_ wasn't worth dwelling over too terribly with his back digging into some shelf and Merlin's tongue tracing along his jaw, and sending a shiver down his spine as hands groped and fingers traced.

 ** _God._**

"You're such a prat," Merlin murmured, words too light and awe-filled to be insulting.

Arthur let out a breathy chuckle, asked, "Am I?"

"Mhm," Merlin said, tilting Arthur's head to kiss along the skin just there that Arthur knew he knew was _just_ as sensitive as Merlin's was. The king let out a moan, hitched his hips against Merlin's in want as he dug his fingers into Merlin's body, knowing that if he didn't loosen his hold he'd leave bruises he'd have to kiss apologies over later.

He didn't loosen his grip for even a _moment_.

Instead, he gripped tighter, tugged Merlin towards him all the more so suddenly Merlin's mouth was leaving his neck and trailing back up to his own lips instead, leaving a rough, needy kiss there that tasted as taboo as this moment felt. God, even though it _shouldn't_ have.

"That door's going to open any minute now, and I'm going to get caught with the king of Camelot shagging me, so that _does_ make you a bit of a prat," Merlin insisted, pulling back to give Arthur a smile full of glint and promise.

"Don't be such an idiot, Merlin," Arthur rolled his eyes, twisted them around suddenly and without warning so Merlin was the one with something uncomfortable digging into his back, Arthur pressing him further into it with a kiss to silence any sounds of surprise he let out by the sudden action. "That's not what's going to happen _at all_ ," he finished in a murmur when he pulled back, hands finally leaving their too tight grip to work at Merlin's breeches, lowering them slowly, eyes on Merlin's all the while as he did.

He saw the question just there, knew Merlin wanted to ask, wanted to question just _what_ was going to happen then in that cheeky, defiant tone of his, but Arthur's look did enough to keep him quiet, because _maybe_ , actually, they _wouldn't_ be interrupted. It _was_ a busy day, but the odds of someone needing something from _that_ particular closet was, well, slim, Arthur hoped. As exciting as the thought of almost being caught was, and as much as Arthur wanted this non-secret of theirs to _truly_ not be a secret, it would be the worst thing for them to get interrupted now, for someone to open that door and catch them, because the things he wanted to do to Merlin just then had absolutely _no_ business being interrupted.

He leaned back in to kiss Merlin again, hands wandering to the other's exposed lower half, and just as his fingers found something they wanted to wrap around and Merlin moaned into the kiss, Arthur heard something he could have ignored, really, could have decided was just his ears playing tricks on him, really, as badly as he _wanted_ his ears to just be playing tricks on him just then. Only—

"Oh for fuck's sake," an exasperated voice hissed, a voice Arthur recognized and very badly _didn't_ want to recognize.

He pulled away from Merlin and turned half around, eyes falling on _Gwaine_ , of all people, and the unimpressed look that was on his face.

"Just because the entire castle already knows how deep you two are in, and _what_ you two are doing doesn't mean you need to be doing it where just anyone can walk in on you—haven't either of you got a room all your own with a lock on the door you can do this in?"

"Wait," Arthur said suddenly, ignoring Gwaine's less than serious question, eyes narrowing at what else he'd said, taken aback. There was _no way_ Arthur had heard that right... "What do you mean—"

"—the _entire castle_ already knows?" Merlin finished for him, glancing around Arthur to give Gwaine much the same look Arthur was giving him.

"We're not stupid," Gwaine replied, shaking his head. "I'd wager the entire kingdom knows, more like, but at the very least, everyone in the castle already knows about what you two do in the hallways and corners and your chambers and _everywhere **else** ,_ apparently. We thought you had at least enough decency to not take advantage of every room and surface that you could, but I guess we were wrong, and I owe Percival and Leon money now. I'll just... leave you two to _it_ , and go pay the pipers," he sighed, shaking his head once again before he closed the door, leaving Merlin and Arthur no room or time to address _any_ of what he said.

Arthur turned back around after blinking after Gwaine for half a moment, and gave Merlin the same look Merlin was giving him—surprised and shocked and the _tiniest_ bit embarrassed that neither of them had ever known just how much of their relationship was known to, well, everyone apparently.

After a careful moment of neither of them saying anything, Arthur moved his hands back to where they'd been before Gwaine had interrupted them, leaned in close to Merlin to kiss him once again, though before his lips actually touched the other's, he said, sly and teasing and low, "I _told you_ you weren't going to get caught shagging the king."

Merlin snorted and closed the rest of the distance between their lips too easily, the almost promise of, "Not _today_ , anyway," leaving those same lips that Arthur wouldn't pull away from until the moment he absolutely had to just before.

It seemed that the secret that wasn't _meant_ to be a secret **anyway** , was less of a secret than Arthur had thought it was. Which was _really_ just as well.

*.*.*.*.*


End file.
